What Indian cinema fans feel about Salman Khan is somewhat similar to what Pakistanis feel about Shahid Afridi. We will never compare him with any other player of the world. We know he doesn’t have any clue about what he is doing most of the time and we still cheer for him. He fails more than he succeeds but we love him and want him to do well.

I belong to a generation that was inspired by Salman Khan, or bhai as his fans would call him. Teenagers started going to gym, their fashion sense changed and their hairstyles varied with his new looks. I also wear a small chain in my left hand although it’s much thinner and does not have a turquoise stone in it. Granted that after two decades in the industry, bhai still does not know how to do an emotional scene but to his fans, that is a mere irrelevant complication in an otherwise simple business… It’s a bhai film, it has to be watched and it has to be a hit. That’s it. As Salman himself says in Kick,

“Dil mein aata hoon, samajh mein nahin.”

That we should embrace him with our hearts and not our brains.

A Salman Khan movie cannot be compared to anyone else’s movies. You can only benchmark a bhai film with other bhai films. Other stars, even as big as Aamir Khan or Shahrukh Khan (SRK) or Hrithik Roshan, need a strong story, high production values, intense acting and technical soundness. A Salman Khan film needs only one thing… Salman Khan. The more the ‘bhai-ness’ of a film, the bigger success it is.

Kick can only be compared with the likes of Dabangg, Ek Tha Tiger, Ready and Bodyguard. So the question is, on a scale of zero to Dabangg, how good is Kick?

And the answer is if Ek Tha tiger was 65% Dabangg and Ready was 35% Dabangg, then Kick is approximately 75% Dabangg. Dabangg beats Kick in the female lead. Sonakshi Sinha’s underplayed ‘Rajjo’ was a stronger performance than quasi-intellectual Jacqueline Fernandez playing ‘Shaina’.

Dabangg has an irresistible item number in Munni Badnaam with Malaika Arora which Nargis Fakhri’s Devil can’t compete with. Dabangg slightly edges ahead of Kick in the dialogue department as well ‘hum tum mein itnay chhed karein ge’ (we will make so many holes in you that…) but Kick is not far behind with ‘Eid aarahi hai… wo apni Eidi lenay zaroor aaye ga’ (Eid is about to arrive… he will surely come to collect his Eidi).

Kick has better action sequences. Of course there is one in which bhai’s bike crashes an office window, enters a helicopter flying outside, bhai picks up a bag from the helicopter and comes out from the other side. All laws of physics and science are defied… it’s a bhai film. The train scene alone is worth a few million dollars upsurge in the box office collections.

Kick is a grand film. Shot on a large scale, high production values, expensive but not necessarily impressive stunts and so on. Sajid Nadiadwala might be a debut director but he knows films and films business more than any seasoned director in Bollywood. Yes, there are problems with the film albeit the script or the lack of it thereof. But when did it even matter for a Salman Khan film?

To be honest, the script too has its moments. It becomes too intelligent for a bhai film at times which comes as a pleasant surprise like the “loser” sequence or “projection technique” but the very next moment it reminds you that it’s a Salman Khan film and you should not expect intelligence out of it. Like Polish healthcare system allowing a doctor to take her patient to her home for treatment. The film also gives us the worst parenting tips ever, be it Salman’s parents, Shaina’s parents or a little sick girl’s parents. Nonetheless, it is still a few degrees more intelligent than Ek Tha Tiger.

The same goes for treatment of the screenplay. Some parts of the film are very well handle like the comic scenes in which Salman meets Jacqueline’s father for the first time or a bearable sequence in the police station at the beginning. Or the drunk scene between Randeep Hooda and Salman which was reminiscent of old age Man Mohan Desai films. Or the “saat samunder paar” dance sequence towards the end in which Salman is in his full element. Or the lipstick bullet and plastic gun. Or Salman’s smiling head shakes asking Randeep Hooda if he will give him way during a car chase scene. It also has a nice two-minute animated sequence introducing the hero.

Randeep Hooda. Photo: Kick Official Facebook Page

But then there are filler scenes of Salman’s parents, badly placed songs even though they boast of excellent choreography, the unnecessary foreign location and some cliché niceties in the end. Add on top of it, the clichéd mother and child coming on the road during car chase or a greedy hospital.

The female cast is as important as it is in any Salman Khan film; means not at all. Jacqueline Fernandez should not play a psychiatrist. It’s wrong on so many levels. She can play a dancer, a gymnast or a secretary but not a psychiatrist. And even if a girl wears glasses like Preity Zinta in Kal Ho Na Ho or Deepika Padukone in Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, she will not automatically become intelligent. Not even if she is shown playing scrabble and making the word ‘sorrow’ in it. Also, despite the accent and long legs, Jackie is not Katrina Kaif.

Photo: Publicity

On another note, Archana Puran Singh should be banned from all forms of media. It’s about time this action was taken.

It’s a male dominated film. Randeep Hooda looks bored and embarrassed in the first half an hour but picks up strongly as the film progresses and completes the film with a decent performance. Nawazuddin Siddiqui is thoroughly entertaining. His entry is delayed till the second half, which is odd since he is the main villain but the moment he appears on the screen, the dull film becomes alive. He sings old Hindi songs, laughs like a puffing hyena, takes out an irritating ping-pong ball sound during conversations and kills people using bubble wrap. A so-called art movie actor gets full grip of commercial cinema more than a mainstream actor can.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui. Photo: Kick Official Facebook Page

And then there is bhai. Despite age showing up in paunch and face, he is tireless. The most celebrated star of the current time. His entry has a shower of confetti, not metaphorically but literally. He is the same that he is in any film… wooing the girl, this time in a half cut Volkswagen beetle rickshaw instead of tuk tuk or a bike… breaking bones, literally shown in X-ray, with his mass-riot-inducing action. He knows no subtlety.

When Shaina asks what kind of ‘human being’ he is, his friend says he is ‘being human’ and an innocent bird dies in its nest for this joke cum NGO placement. He still wears Dabangg Ray-bans and puts them behind his neck. He is your Batman plus Robin Hood plus Jason Bourne plus Adam Sevani plus everything else you ever wanted to see on screen. In the grander scheme of things, acting becomes least important thing but who cares, it’s a bhai film. If you want to see the effect of bhai on fans, try #Kick on Twitter or Instagram and see people dancing in front of the screens and throwing money on the screens.

Kick is a watch-able film. The first half an hour is a normal Salman movie disaster, which becomes interesting for the next one making you uncomfortable on your seats and then goes completely off in the last half hour. If not for bhai, then watch it for a couple of songs, Randeep Hooda and Nawazuddin Siddiqui. In any case, it’s better executed than Dhoom 3 and is more entertaining than Jab Tak Hai Jaan.

My verdict:

Bhai= One,

Aamir + SRK= Zero

Chand raat of the Meethi Eid — a phrase so nice, you can say it twice! When you read it, doesn’t it sound grand and full of enchanting sweetness? Well, it is. It’s the Eid that doesn’t leave roads drenched in blood and streets full of guts and ripped open stomachs. This is Meethi Eid and the sweetness I essentially indulge in on this grand occasion is staring at girls, left right and centre. Without a shadow of doubt, chand raat is a taroo’s heaven, his Las Vegas and his Raiwind Palace. It all started when I was four-years-old. Word on the street was that a gori ma’am (white lady) had come to visit our village to see the schools and meet the kids. I was dressed up and sent to meet the white lady. What a sight. The moment was amazing, seeing over 300 men just staring at her, regardless of them being Chandio, Afridi, Butt or Lund. All generational rivalries were put aside for a common goal — stare at the gori. From that day onwards, I knew that the only way we can all get along is through shameless staring. I have been an avid stare-r. I started from the nurse who cut the cord, went on to the female teachers in my all-boys school and now, I am proudly known as the sala office ka tharki. Girls give weird and angry looks when they are stared at, but I am pretty sure they secretly like it. Sometimes, when they say: “No… hell no! Get away from me,” what they really mean is, “yes”. This phenomenon is popularly known as ‘playing hard to get’ (take notes guys; I am giving you pearls here). Also, the girls wearing western clothes — jeans and tops — they love it when we stare. The reason they wear those clothes is so that we can stare — they like the attention. Why else would they wear those clothes, right? Back to the event of the year, that is chand raat. My chand raat starts with picking up my friends and then hitting the malls — you know the usual mehndi corners to check out girls while they are all dressed up to get their henna on. Mehndi corners are only for girls and families, so we just stay close to a family, as an attempt to blend in. Some girls come with their boys, who give you the stink eye if you check out their ‘Ras Malai’ (yes, I have actually heard someone call his loved one that). We aim for the girls with families; they are easy prey. Stare at them from afar, make eye-contact when Abu isn’t looking, stay close by, wait till she looks at you, and then…wink! Nine out of 10 times she rejects, but every now and then, a sad, lonely, low-self esteemed girl comes along and she doesn’t slap us. The one that does slap us leaves us wondering how she could do this to us. Following the slap, other taroos seize the opportunity to be seen as her knight in shining armour, become Ajay Devgan from Diljalay and start thrashing me in an attempt to save her ‘honour’. But then again, that is all part of the thrill, as I always say, ‘one has to risk it for the biscuit’. You might have female friends, but my several years’ experience of staring at them has taught me more than you’d ever know about them as friends. I have more knowledge about women than most of the men around. So what if my mom can’t find me a bride because everyone calls me cheap? One day, I will find a girl who eye-to-eyes me and we will tango like Taher Shah’s curls. Yours truly, Taroo (I got my eyes on you, literally) Like Life & Style on Facebook, follow @ETLifeandStyle on Twitter for the latest in fashion, gossip and entertainment.

I received a beautiful gift from a complete stranger. I don’t even know her name. It was the last Friday of Ramazan, so I decided to attend the Dua and khatam-e-Quran at my local mosque. Growing up in Lahore, I had never seen the inside of a mosque in my entire life. So, even after more than a decade of living in America, I have rarely gone to my local mosque as I, perhaps, feel that the mosque is a place where men gather. But that Friday, on my birthday no less, I went. As I prayed jammat with women of all colour and creed, I felt a strange sense of belonging. My heart felt more at peace than it had in a long time. After the first rakat had finished, the woman next to me tapped my elbow and said,

“Sister, can I say something to you?”

“I know…I know.”

“I got these from Jordan,” she said, as she caressed them fondly.

“It is my religious holiday today.”

“Today is our version of Christmas, so the kids will be missing school.”

Nothing remains but the ruins of hopes and dreams. So much sorrow, so much suffering, So long, somehow, The sacrifices it seems were made in vain. Every day is a tragedy, Everyday a massacre, There are no more tears left to cry. Or so I thought… Can you see? Instead of a house, there are remnants of a home, Like pieces of a dismantled puzzle everywhere; A puzzle that will remain such with its remains strewn far and wide, Together with the lives and existence of those who inhabited it. Can you imagine? There is a boy, And the dream of that boy to be a grown-up. His aspirations so pure, his thoughts so simple, Made an orphan, Now armed with a toy gun, He seeks a familiar face. He finds none. But he still has that dream, he fulfils it. Can you feel? He’s a grownup, But there’s a price to pay, That price will cost us our souls. Can you hear? Instead of children cheering at the fair, There is a demolished Ferris wheel and the distant noise of explosives and gun shots. Instead of fireworks in the sky, there are planes dropping bombs. Instead of the sounds of laughter, there are echoes of people howling. Instead of growing up, the boy is a grownup. Instead of heading to the fair, the boy is now in heaven. Dedicated to the people of Gaza – especially the children who are now orphans, the wives and husbands who are now widows and widowers and the parents who are now childless. May God give you the strength and the patience to cope and persevere. And of course the martyrs of Gaza; may your souls rest in peace for the rest of eternity. Amen.

Every evening after iftar they storm the streets in flocks, like contingent troops, with one and only one purpose alone – they want clothes, clothes and more clothes. The women of Pakistan, it seems, have found the reason as to why they were created – they were created to make, buy, sell, maintain, wear, show and love clothes. And this sad obsession is across the board. From lower middle income groups to the elite, they spend big chunks of their valuable time in bazaars and malls, and unanimously spend more than they afford. And Eid season sees this obsessive compulsive behaviour at its peak. But then, can we really blame them? At every turn of the head are billboards of women; beautiful, stick thin, photo shopped women, wearing dresses to kill. The biggest viewership of Pakistan’s thriving morning show industry is women. Millions of Pakistani women, every morning, lap up the mostly unintelligent and fake conversations on these shows and take them as gospel truth. They also absorb each and every attitude and trend being presented by the baajis and even the bhaiyyas who are the hosts. Thus, they have started believing in a culture of collective gushing and adulation of people on the basis of what they wear, not who they are. If they can afford the exact thing the host is wearing (even though hers might is most probably a borrowed dress – one that she will never wear again), they will get it from the same designer. If not, the women will use every ion of creativity God has given them to do jugaar and copy the design, almost flawlessly. Women from the elite have their own issues. They are also obsessed with clothes. Only, the taste (acquired) and the social circles are different. They will kill themselves over clothes that are original, exclusive, subtle and elegant. They may not be as tacky as others and may look down upon other women, and ridicule their showy dress sense, but eventually they are equally consumed with the idea of the “I am what I wear” syndrome. The only difference is, the elite do it in more innovative ways. They make politically and socially correct statements with their clothes if they are the activist types and use pure cottons, vegetable dyes and the works. If the social circle involves kitty parties and the trophy wives club, the style changes considerably. Women see, breathe and dream clothes. It is no wonder then that not only is there a never ending demand for clothes, but also an incessant chain of supply in the form of dress ‘designers’; couture designers who have actually studied the art and also those who become designers by default – because... well it comes naturally to them after thinking about clothes 28 out of 24 hours a day. And then there are those who don’t really design anything but just have a darzi at home in the basement. The problem is not with clothes. The problem is with the shift in values that is coming with it. Slowly but surely it is becoming such a big priority for women that the way they see themselves and others is changing. I noticed this the other day when I caught myself not saying “you look very nice in this dress” to a friend, but saying “your dress is very nice”. The person was taken away from my compliment. All that remained was the dress. If women start viewing themselves in light of the praise their dresses get, they will continue to be preoccupied with their appearance. And this is an expensive preoccupation as well as time-consuming. I know families where a driver is employed for the sole purpose of taking baaji to Ghousia market, Aashiyana and Raabi Centre. Wardrobes are so important to females that in order to make unnecessary clothes that will keep hanging in their closets, untouched for a year, they want to earn and for that, voila, they become dress designers. Being engrossed with clothes to a disturbing extent is an attitude that other women observe. If they cannot afford to do the same, there is an underlying resentment and unhealthy sense of competition in society. The more we raise the bar of our wardrobes, the more the economic disparity in our society. While dressing well and looking good is actually an admirable thing, anything that crosses limits becomes toxic. Overdoing one thing means you will end up under-doing something equally or more important. The time one could spend reading, doing some form of community service, or spending unhurried moments with one’s family is spent getting exhausted, carrying bags and bags of stitched and unstitched fabric, and still worrying whether everyone will like it or not. The next time you exhaust yourself over clothes, stop for a minute and think: Is this really worth it? Women are naturally very good at time-management. And Pakistani women are an amazing potential work force for Pakistan. They are talented, intelligent and hardworking. If the time they put into clothes is utilised for other more productive things, it would make Pakistan a much happier place. The spirit of Ramazan and then Eidul Fitr is all about taking away materialism from our hearts and reviving a culture of simplicity, giving and sharing. It may be time to sit back and rethink what Eid is all about.

Last year, they were celebrating Eid in the comfort of their respective homes, surrounded by friends and family. This year, they will have to make do with whatever they can in their camps. Last year, they had new clothes to wear and new toys to play with. This year, the children will find themselves lingering around camps, not really sure of what to do. Many might not even be aware that it is Eid. Such is the plight of the internally displaced persons (IDPs) of North Waziristan. Imran Khan announced that he will spend his Eid day with the IDPs. Although this is a great gesture and we should be happy that at least one figure of authority had the sense to do this, it still makes one wonder why the premier of the state has not followed suit. Imran wasn’t the one who displaced these people; he wasn’t the one who gave the final go-ahead to the military to take charge of their houses and leave them without any shelter. Yet he stands with them today. Where is Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif in all this? A quick glance through the news tells us that the ‘representative of the people’, the head of the state, will be spending this Eid outside his country with Saudi royalty. I have nothing against Mr Nawaz as an individual and he can spend his Eid wherever he wants but he is no longer just a politician or a member of the national assembly; he is the prime minister of our country now. I don’t see why our figures of authority have to be reminded that their country is in a state of war, that there are people who have sacrificed their homes for the sake of a brighter future. Does he not have any responsibility towards these people, towards the IDPs? Shouldn’t he at least offer to spend some time with them? These questions are mindboggling and no one is willing to answer them. A couple of days ago, I came across the story of five-year-old Aneela, who is from North Waziristan and is currently living in an IDP camp. The report brought tears to my eyes. Here was a girl who was living in such harsh conditions, with meagre resources, and she had absolutely no idea why she was there and not in her own home. I saw her on television, playing with stones instead of toys, eating leftover food when she should have been eating delicacies like sheer khurma and mithai. For her, this year’s Eid will not bring any new dresses; her hands will not be decorated with henna. She is a five-year-old child. Does she really deserve this? This is not just about Aneela; it is for every child and adult living in the hell-hole of a camp. All of them have the same sorrows, the same miseries. In this time of need, we have seen how the civilians have come forward to help them. We have seen NGOs working day and night to rehabilitate the IDPs. We have seen donation camps set up in all major cities of Pakistan, with people contributing enthusiastically, whatever they can. The masses feel the pain of their fellow Pakistanis and they are willing to share their Eid with them, keeping aside all their religious and ethnic differences. But are our leaders willing to do the same? I ask all our politicians, MPAs and MNAs to keep their political agendas aside and join Imran Khan in his call to celebrate Eid with the IDPs. Instead of just giving away gifts as a political gimmick, go and spend time with them. Make them feel that their sacrifices are being appreciated. I don’t know about the rest, but the prime minister should have had more sense than to accept an invitation to Saudi when his own people were suffering. He should have been here with his people in this hour of need. Not gallivanting across the globe. This post originally appeared here.

I wonder why it’s called Choti Eid. It’s so much cooler than Bari Eid, or any other festival for that matter.

Writers’ folklore says that the five elements that comprise a popular story are: religion, mystery, relationships, money and sex. Amazingly, Choti Eid brings all of them to the table.

Religion – celebrating a month of abstinence, giving and worship

Choti Eid is the culmination of a full month of religiously obligated prayer, restraint and abstinence. It’s been a month that people have been praying more regularly (including taraweeh prayers!), using less abusive language, giving more in charity and generally trying to be better human beings.

Some people would argue that driving home in Karachi 30 minutes before iftar can be more dangerous than taking a stroll in Gaza. But I would argue that if you are late for iftar and maghrib prayers begin while you’re on the road, the nearest rehri wala (hawker) will offer you a piece of whatever goodies he’s selling and refuse to accept money for it, which is absolutely wonderful.

Photo: Reuters

Which reminds me, people getting together for iftar is another wonderful religious-cum-cultural tradition that helps foster a sense of community as a precursor to Eid. Friends and family getting together to break their fast is always fun. Okay, I admit things can get a bit awkward when most of the people attack the food at 7:10pm while our Fiqh-e-Jafria brothers have to wait for 7:20pm without trying to look conspicuous, but I say a little awkwardness is a decent price to pay for sectarian harmony. My Shia friends have found a non-awkward solution for this turn up 10 minutes late!

And to those who are on their worst behaviour while fasting: it is okay, we understand you were hungry. Enjoy Eid and try harder next Ramazan please.

Mystery – chand raat or taraweeh?

Choti Eid has always been big on mystery. Thousands of children and their parents go to their rooftops on the 29^th of Ramazan, after maghrib prayers (pakora in one hand and binoculars in the other) to look for the new moon.

Will it be Eid tomorrow? Is Mufti Muneebur Rehman in a good mood? God, I hope he didn’t have a fight with his wife today!

Photo: Nzaar Ihsan

What are the Pakhtuns up to? After 67 years, will this be that elusive year in which we have only one Eid throughout Pakistan? Do we go take the girls out for choorian and mehendi or do we go for taraveeh? Will masterjee (tailor) or rangwala (dyer), as the case may be, have my suit/dupatta ready on time?

While we respect the concept of 30 rozas and all, one has to admit that nothing beats the exhilaration (and relief) of a chand raat announcement on the evening of the 29^th. And they’re probably right when they say that Satan is locked up during Ramazan, because the moment chand raat is announced, all hell really does break loose!

Aunties are running after masterjees for their suits, girls are looking to kill the rangwalas who didn’t get the exact colour on their dupatta, and the neighbourhood boys are manning the choori and mehendi stalls in the hopes that the pretty girls living in the house across the street will visit and ask for their assistance to try on choorian!

Photo: INP/File

Relationships – chachus, khalas and SMSs

With no distractions like bakras or butchers, Choti Eid is all about relationships. Poor people take their children to Minar-e-Pakistan, the rich ones take their families to the golf course, and almost everyone takes their kids to meet their chachus, phupos, khalas and mamoos. The big cities tend to empty out as millions of people travel back to their pind (if you’re from Punjab), mulak (if you are Pathan) or gaon (if you are from anywhere else in Pakistan). There are reports every Eid about the transporters increasing charges before Eid, but hey, doesn’t the bus wala deserve to take his children to the zoo?

My personal favourite family ritual is going for namaz on Eid day. Even after 36 years, the routine is exactly the same.

1. I oversleep – my mom bangs the door down.

2. I accompany my brother and cousins to Model Town Park, Lahore, for Eid prayer (something that has changed is the level of security – now we have to navigate through scanners, metal detectors, and snipers at every entrance).

3. We give fitrana on the way in (another change I’ve noticed is in the recipient of the fitrana – a couple of decades ago people would line up to donate to the religious outfits waging war in Kashmir; now the religious parties’ stalls are visibly empty while the number of people lined up at the Shaukat Khanum Hospital, Sahara for Life and other non-religious NGOs is much more).

Photo: Shahbaz Malik/Express

4. The maulvi prays to God for everyone’s health, safety, prosperity and asks for our sins to be wiped clean.

5. He then goes on to ask God to liberate Palestine and Kashmir (Chechnya made it into the list during the 1990s but isn’t there anymore, I wonder why). He also prays for the progress of Pakistan and the destruction of Israel and all other enemies of Islam (one of these days I’ll ask him why his dua isn’t working – which my brother thinks is not a very bright idea).

6. Maulvi sahib reminds us of the steps involved in the Eid namaz (it’s a bit tricky).

7. He reminds us that while we are free to do so, we should remember that hugging each other three times while wishing ‘Eid Mubarak’ has nothing to do with Islam.

8. Namaz begins and the person next to me messes up his namaz steps, disorienting us all. A few people start following him and now we have half the row standing up and the other half in rukoo.

9. After namaz, all of us religiously hug everyone else three times regardless of what maulvi sahib had just lectured us about (this is probably the only time of the year when Pakistani men go around smiling and hugging random people… it’s wonderful!)

Photo: Reuters

9. On the way out, I wish ‘Eid Mubarak’ to the security guards and snipers at the entrance (this step was added in 2007).

10. We come home to a delicious breakfast, which we are having for the first time in 30 days – I am convinced that this is the best, most tasty meal of the year.

And immediately after breakfast, the flood of Eid Mubarak SMSs (of every variety, from religious to loving to funny) begins.

Over the years, I’ve realised that I miss Eid cards – the real kind that you would have to go out and buy from the same mohalla stall that sold mehendi and choorian. The ones which you would address to every chachu, khala, phupo and mamoo and spend time remembering their children’s names to make sure nobody was left out.

Money

Eidi is probably the cornerstone of Choti Eid, especially for the children. Little do they know, if they are below the age of 12, chances are their Eidi will be ‘embezzled’ by the parents to account for the outflow of Eidi to relatives’ and the neighbours’ children.

Photo: AFP

Fresh crisp notes actually become an industry in the week running up to Eid and immediately after namaz, the entire public workforce (the dakia (mailman), the kachra walay (janitor), the bijli walay (electricians) and the likes) starts turning up at the door to collect Eidi.

“Humari sarak itni saaf tau nahin hoti jitni safai walay Eidi lenay pahunch jatay hein!” my mom always complains.

Sex – no more abstinence!

Let’s admit it, between the preparation of iftar, rising early for sehri and other household chores, there is not much going on in the bedroom for a great many couples. Choti Eid brings with it the lifting of all restrictions on copulation and, in many a pind, several bundles of joy.

Like I said, with all the elements of a hit story, I wonder why it’s called Choti Eid… it’s so much bigger than any other festival round the year!

Can you imagine how it feels to see a dear one killed in front of your eyes, knowing that it is supposedly a happy day, a festive day? How does it feel to lose a beloved on or right before Eid? I can’t even imagine the pain. Unfortunately, the feeling is not like a moment in a dream which simply vanishes during disrupted sleep. It’s far more permanent. Countless days of just this – either being killed or seeing your loved ones die. The recurring situation seems to have no end. While sitting on the stairs outside our house during a calm and peaceful summer evening in Toronto, I felt a deep chilling wave inside of me when I saw tears in his dark green eyes. He was recalling how he used to play, eat and live with them during his childhood. They studied and worked together for a long time afterwards. This was Ebraheem, a qualified banker who recently moved to Canada to provide his daughters better education prospects and safety. He was a former resident of Gaza. He was upset and emotionally consumed because a close relative’s entire family of 18 people had been killed in the recent attacks. Small, uninterrupted tears filled his eyes while he sipped on Turkish coffee after the last iftar of the year. Monday was Eid but after listening to his story, I had lost my sense of excitement for the day. This is how Eid is this year for the Muslims residing in Gaza – full of bloodshed and tragedy. Even though an immediate ceasefire has been called due to the occurrence of Eid, traces of devastation will continue to haunt the ones living in camps in Gaza. On the other hand, for those who are fighting for their lives in hospitals with meagre resources, it’s absolutely dreadful. Zainab, Ebraheem’s wife who is an educationist, said,

“It’s been a norm; every two years, Zionist-dominated extremist Israeli government manipulates an excuse to disrupt life in Palestine.”

“Israeli intelligence officials used gag orders in recent weeks to stifle reporting on the initial investigations into both the abduction and the killing of three Israeli teenagers in the West Bank, and the apparent revenge killing of a Palestinian teenager in East Jerusalem.”

“Therefore, when an air strike hits any one of the buildings, it means there is no chance of the neighbouring buildings and its occupants to stay safe. They hit a small rocket which is a warning and you count for 57 seconds for another expected major rocket to come your way and demolish the buildings completely. This 57 seconds time window is all the helpless residents of the area have to find shelter for themselves.”

“Israeli aircrafts are targeting houses in the Gaza Strip as never before, firing precision-guided missiles into living rooms. They have killed at least five known militants with the tactic — but they appear to have killed more civilians, including a growing number of women and children. Israeli defence officials say their mission is not only to stop Hamas and other militant groups in the Gaza Strip from firing ever-more-powerful rockets deeper into Israel, as they did on Wednesday, but also to weaken Hamas by killing its commanders.”

“Eid is rare in Palestine, and this time, my family back home have to make through it alive.”

“With so much death, destruction and despair, there’s no Eid for Gaza this year.”

“At the moment, when war is at its peak, the Egyptian government has sealed its border, not allowing the Palestinian refugees to enter their land and neither are they allowing rescue organisations from the other side to help the war trodden people; it’s their (Gazans) only connection to the world.”

“We are not refugees; it’s our land which has been occupied by shutting it down for its natives. We are the displaced people. My father was five-years-old when he had to leave occupied Palestine, and now 90% of the people are displaced. We will get our land back soon.”

“History shows that any occupation doesn’t last forever.”

Ramazan is finally over! And here we are celebrating Eidul Fitr in the Far East on Monday. Fasting during the peak summer is a real test of one’s faith and endurance. My inquisitive non-Muslim friends often ask me how we, Muslims, survive the long testing hours of fasting without food and water in soaring temperatures. I am not sure they believe me when I tell them that it’s a mix of practice and unconditional faith that makes us get through the tough days of fasting and sleep deprivation.

It’s that time of the year when we feast (read: over eat). Eid menus are planned out days in advance, and tons of sweet and savoury delicacies line up the dinner tables and tea trollies. At Ammi’s house, there always was a set menu for Eidul Fitr. For breakfast, we have boiled vermicelli served with hot milk, which Abbu likes having before heading for Eid prayers. Dessert would include either sheer khurma or a dense milky kheer (rice pudding). The tea trolley is decked with savoury spicy chana chaat, which is made every day and served with lemonade or tea, and some gulab jamans. All the guests visiting us on Eid get to enjoy all of these delicacies, meaning Ammi would prepare them in large quantities.

For lunch, there would be pulao, kofta curry (nargasi kofta), some special chicken dish of Ammi’s and haleem, which has always been a non-negotiable dish for lunch and is prepared a day ahead of Eid. I don’t remember eating nargasi koftas much at home since they were only prepared on special occasions or for some special guests. And so, today, I will be sharing my recipe of nargisi koftas that fits the occasion of Eid perfectly and makes your feast whole.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

Ingredients:

Koftas: To be made a day before

Minced beef – ½ kilogram

Chickpea lentil (channa daal) – ½ cup (soaked overnight)

Garlic – 5 to 6 cloves

Ginger – 1 (2 inches)

Onion – 1 medium-sized (chopped)

Green chillies – 2 medium-sized (chopped)

Water – 1½ cup

Salt – 1 tsp

Eggs – 11 (8 hard boiled and 1 for coating)

Oil – 1 cup (for deep frying)

Dry spices:

Whole cloves – 8

Whole black peppercorn – 10

Cinnamon stick – 1

Black cardamom – 2

Cumin seeds – 1 tsp heaped

Coriander seeds – 1 tsp heaped

Whole dried red chillies – 3

Photo: Ambreen Malik

Curry:

Onions – 3 large (diced)

Tomatoes – 2 medium-sized (diced)

Ginger/garlic paste – 1 tsp

Water – 3½ cups

Yogurt – 1/3 cup

Oil – 6 tbsp

Dry Spices:

Cumin seeds – 1 tsp heaped and crushed

Coriander seeds – 1 tsp heaped and crushed

Whole black peppercorn – 6

Cloves – 5

Black cardamom – 1

Green cardamom pods – 3

Cinnamon stick – 1

Photo: Ambreen Malik

Method for koftas: 

1. Dry roast all the dry spices and grind them in a spice mill.

2. Add minced beef, chickpea lentil, garlic, ginger, onion, one green chilli, grounded spices, salt and water in a pan. Cook it over medium heat for 45 minutes till the water dries up and the lentil is fully cooked. Set aside and let it cool down completely.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

3. Add the cooked minced meat into a food processor. Add two uncooked eggs and one medium green chilli, and grind everything finely. Store the mixture in a sealed container and leave it in the fridge overnight.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

4. Next day, wrap eight hard boiled eggs in the minced meat mixture.

5. Coat the koftas with a lightly beaten egg and deep fry on high heat.

6. Brown the koftas carefully. While frying, do not touch them unless needed as they can crumble and break. Once fried, remove pan and lay them onto some kitchen paper.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

Method for curry:

1. Heat three tablespoons of oil in a pan and fry diced onions till translucent. Add ginger/garlic paste and cook for one minute.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

2. Add diced tomatoes and cook for two minutes on high heat. Add a cup of water and let it come to a boil.

3. Blend the onion and tomatoes mixture into a fine paste in a liquidiser.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

4. Heat the remaining three tablespoons of oil in the same pan and fry the dry spices.

5. Add the liquidised mixture into the pan. Cook until all the water dries up and oil comes out on the sides. Cover the pan as the water starts to vaporise.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

6. Add yogurt and cook till the water from the yogurt dries up.

7. Add two and a half cups of water and let it come to a boil. Lower the heat and let it simmer till oil floats on the top.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

Ladle the hot curry in a serving dish. Cut the fried koftas in half and arrange them in the curry. Garnish with fresh coriander and serve with homemade flat bread – chappati or naan.

Photo: Ambreen Malik

Eid Mubarak to everyone back home! Please don’t forget to include the less fortunate ones in our festivities and in particular, remember the displaced people of North Waziristan as Pakistan fights the battle for its survival. Let’s hope that tomorrow will be a better day!

This post originally appeared here.

Over time I have noticed a common trend on Pakistani Facebook pages, especially those of designers and celebrities: crude, caustic and downright hateful slandering of celebrities. I recently stumbled upon a picture of Humaima Malick looking gorgeous in an elegant Élan ensemble and all I could think of was the talent and beauty that exists in our country. But then I read the bitterest of verbal abuses on the picture, which included:

“She is lookin’ dumb and her makeup is damn worst” “Kitni ugly hai pata nai kyun uthaya hua hai isko” “This is behayaee and immoral behaviour”

What do we usually end up doing on Eid? Go for Eid parties? Hang out with friends or spend lazy afternoons on our couch flipping through the oh-so-unbearable Eid transmission programs? We spend all of our Eidi on ordering food or going out with friends. Well, what if I told you that there are better things you could do with your time and Eidi this Eid? All of us think of doing something noble throughout the year but never actually do it, under the pretence that we don’t have the time or the resources for it. Well, why not try it out this Eid? Not only will it help make the occasion more meaningful for yourself, but it will also help you utilise your Eidi in a much better fashion. Some of you might question why on earth you would want to spend your Eidi on something that doesn’t benefit you directly? But trust me, a random act of kindness can take you a long way. Since it’s all about practise what you preach, here is my story: Back in 2008, my siblings and I decided to do something to make our Eid more purposeful. After a suggestion or two, we decided to visit the Sindh Institute of Urology and Transplantation (SIUT) to celebrate Eid with children in the paediatric ward. Not only was the visit surreal, it was immensely fulfilling. It was wonderful to see the little faces brighten up and the adorable smiles made our hearts melt. After that one visit, my siblings and I decided to do the same every year. So every year we buy presents, snacks and juices depending on the amount of funds we collect throughout the year and then surprise those little children with all sorts of goodies. And each year brings with it a different experience, a different child, a different smile and a different kind of fulfilment. The feeling is irreplaceable. All of this might sound like a difficult endeavour to a lot of people out there, but trust me, all it needs is a will to do something meaningful with your Eidi and a little bit of time. However, if you feel charity is not your cup of tea, then there are other ways in which you can make better use of your Eidi too.   1. Be the cause of their smile Do you know of an orphanage or an old-house near your house? If you don’t, visit Darul Sukun or the Edhi Home. Spend some time with those who have no one to share their happiness with this Eid. If you think you need a lot of money to get a gift for each one of them, buy a box of mithai and give each one of them a hug. Listen to their stories because all they want is someone to talk to. Crack jokes and play antakshri with them. Make them smile, even if it’s just for a day. 2. Plan an Eid milan party I’m sure each of us at some point or the other despised those Eid milan parties that our schools hosted. Well, some never really got a chance to even have one. Visit the nearest underprivileged school in your area and organise a small party for them. Decorate the place, get them snacks, play some games and, sing and dance with them. Ask a friend who has a DSLR to accompany you and take pictures with those little angels. 3. Do something for the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) Collect all the funds that you can and send donations or packages for the IDPs of North Waziristan. They need those resources more than we do and it will turn out to be a productive use of your Eidi. If we don’t even help them on an occasion like Eid, then what’s the point of this celebration? Would you be able to enjoy Eid if you knew your sister or brother was stuck in some remote camp in the country? I didn’t think so. Just try it once and make sure you hand it over to a reliable NGO or relief camp. 4. Get someone an Eid outfit You can help your maid, her children or her siblings, look and feel good by giving them an outfit to wear on Eid. You can even make a tantalising delicacy and send it for your maid’s children because they never really get a chance to eat a chargha or a lasagne, even on Eid. 5. Awareness campaigns You are educated and it is a blessing. If you know more than others, it is a blessing of Allah. Make use of your knowledge, money and time to start an awareness campaign. Gather a few friends, make a team, contribute all your Eidi, get a banner made in advance and visit the nearest slum. Help educate the poor about social issues, talk about the importance of cleanliness, help them clean their neighbourhood, motivate them to send their children to school or talk to them about the importance of polio. Take up any issue that needs to be discussed and is in dire need of some attention. Spend some time with them and teach them something by spreading awareness. They have time and you have time; why not make the best of it? 6. Charity If your Eid plans include nothing but your bed and scrumptious homemade food, then the least you can do is donate your Eidi to a charity foundation. A good deed with little or no effort. 7. Take your parents out for dinner Give your mother a break from all the cooking and cleaning this Eid. Spend some quality time with your family and use your Eidi to take them out for a nice dinner to a fancy restaurant that they’ve been talking about for so long. If I were to go with the option of spending my Eidi on my parents, I would take them to a spa and pay for an exquisite massage therapy. Trust me, parents always need that. You can also buy something for your grandparents as well. Get their reading glasses repaired or buy them their favourite book. They’ll love it. 8. Make your younger sister or brother feel special If you have younger siblings, give them Eidi even if they are only a year younger than you. Take them out for some dessert, watch a movie together or buy them a money box and inculcate the habit of saving money. Make them understand the culture of giving and rejoicing in someone else’s happiness. 9. Invest your money If you have accumulated a great amount of Eidi, there are two possible ways that you can use it – either you can spend it all while partying with friends, on food and what not, or you can be smart about it and invest the money somewhere. Buy some gold, a few prize bonds, dollars or some shares from the stock market and reap the benefits of a wise decision for a longer time. 10. Pamper yourself Save all your Eidi and buy something big for yourself that you have always wanted to get. Hold on! I don’t mean a branded HSY or any other designer dress. Buy something that you need – an asset. Buy a smart phone if you don’t have one. Buy a wallet if you recently got mugged. Get your laptop repaired if you need to. Buy yourself a book you always wanted to read. It should be something long-lasting and useful. We took an initiative and we love doing it every Eid. When we visit those children every year and make them smile, it makes our Eid even more beautiful and joyous. So take an initiative this Eid. Make a difference, if not for society on the whole, do it for your family or for your own self at the least. Celebrate and enjoy the feasts but do not forget the underprivileged. They say money can’t buy happiness. But I believe if you have all the money in the world and you are not happy, then you are not spending it properly. The fact that you are able to read this blog makes you more blessed than many others, so share your blessings with others.

Khushiyan baatne se bardhti hein! (Happiness increases when spread around)

So finally Ramazan has come to an end and our very own meethi Eid (aka Eidul Fitr) is here! Although there are some of us who despise the endless train of Eid visitors, some of us anticipate the various… amusing moments that are bound to arise during these holidays. Here are 11 moments that signify Eidul Fitr’s arrival:

1. The looney lunar:

Many people are sleep deprived on Eid. Why, you ask? Well, what else can you expect when the announcement of Eid is sprung on you at the eleventh hour, courtesy of the Ruet-e-Hilal Committee? Pakistanis, by habit, leave quite a few important things to the last minute and so this announcement is of the utmost importance to us. It is when this announcement is made that we scramble out of our slumber and run hither-dither trying to get our last minute shopping done. And then, of course, there are the chand raat celebrations which we must most definitely take part in.

So again, you ask the reason behind why we look like we cried the night before? This is it.

2. Gluttony:

The night before Eid, you believe that you have actually lost weight and will maintain this for the rest of the year. This was what you wanted. You wanted to lose weight and then comes Eid with all its deliciousness and that resolution goes down the drain as soon as we hit the breakfast table. In my opinion, we are known to eat more on the three days of Eid than we do throughout the month of Ramazan because there is So. Much. Food! 

Photo: Tumblr

3.  To drink or not to drink:

I am not sure how many of us go through this, but the fear of mistakenly drinking or eating something during Ramazan sticks around for a few days (hours for some) after the last roza (fast). In my case, I end up giving myself a mini heart-attack after sipping a cold glass of water in the afternoon on Eid day. Don’t worry; you’ll need time to get out of your ‘fast’ lane. 

Photo: Giphy.com

4. That filial duty:

When our parents ask us to visit distant relatives at any other time of the year, we feel no shame in a blatant refusal. However, on Eid, it is us reminding them about their not-so-filial duties because you never know who hands that envelope full of crisp notes. 

Photo: Mashable

5. Holier than thou much:  

All those who scrutinise our every move to find a reason to shame us suddenly drop their Ramazan cloaks and are ready to rumble! Now they are are free to admire Humaima Malick’s new dance.

Photo: Funnyjunk.com

6. Tailor woes:

Need to get that last minute peeko on your dupatta done or one of your sleeves is somehow shorter than the other? The innumerable curses upon the tailor continue once the roza has ended. 

Photo: Tumblr

7. Last minute shopping:

Dress? Check.

Shoes? Check.

Jewellery? Check.

Bangles? Oh Crap.

Someone get the car out. Now! 

Photo: Tumblr

8. Those dreaded hugs:

Eid is one occasion in which ‘hugging’ suddenly becomes okay. But really, what is the point of the three hugs? Aren’t we confused enough already with two or one kisses dilemma that now we need to figure out the amount of times we need to hug? How about a little less action and a little more conversation, please? 

Photo: Tumblr

9. Eidi-flation:

That moment when you feel like telling your rich relatives about the height of inflation when they hand you that hundred rupee note. 

Photo: Giphy.com

10. Never ending questions:

Unable to strike a conversation? These relatives know how to make you talk. From “why are you working?” to “when are you getting married?”, the question-answer session this Eid is going to be grueling and unforgiving. And the relatives do it with such aplomb; they will ask you anything under the sky, without much thought or hesitation. 

Photo: Tumblr

11.   The table-talkers:

Serving guests who start their discussion with the essence of Ramazan being about patience and ending with the doom of Pakistanis for not being Arab enough, while incessantly asking you to pass the bowl of Sheer Khurma.

Photo: Tumblr

Eid is essentially all about sharing joy and happiness with the people you love, including family and friends (even if some of them are killjoys), because a few hours won’t hurt so much now, will they? And while we are blessed to celebrate the occasion, let’s spare some time for those less fortunate and remember not to take Eid for granted.

And most importantly, Eid Mubarak!

With all the sad news of corruption, crimes against women, religion-based violence in our subcontinent, and the political tensions that keep taking place at the global level (like the recent ones we have witnessed in Ukraine, Greece and the Middle East), we unfortunately seldom turn our attention to the very exciting scientific inventions and discoveries taking place across the globe, including our part of the world.

Here’s a list of some relatively recent ones:

1. Solar roadways

Indiegogo, a company based in San Francisco, has developed a technology to convert roads into solar power houses. This was a hot topic of discussion on Facebook in June 2014!

Indeed, this would help check greenhouse gas emissions and reduce our dependence on renewable sources of energy like fossil fuels and nuclear fuels.

2. Solar plane

Photo: Reuters/File

A solar-powered plane has made its debut flight in Switzerland in June 2014.

Aeroplanes running on solar energy would reduce our dependence on petroleum and help check pollution.

3. Driverless car

Photo: File

Google has released a car in May 2014 that has no steering wheel, pedals or brakes, and the only manual control would be an emergency ‘stop’ button.

Chris Urmson, director of Google’s self-driving car project, said it was

“An important step toward improving road safety and transforming mobility for millions of people”

Let’s hope his claims are true!

4. Sports car running on cooking oil

Makers Trident, a British manufacturing company, has launched a sports model Iceni that not only exceeds speeds of 200 km/hr but can travel more than 3000 kilometres on a single tank of cooking oil!

5. Bio-plastic from banana peels that can replace petroleum-based plastics

Photo: Elif Bilgin Facebook Page

Elif Belgin, a teenage girl from Turkey, has invented the above, and won the ‘Best Science in Action’ Award at the Google Science Fair internationally in 2013.

Banana peels are a waste and this can help utilise the same, reducing our dependence on petroleum and would also be biodegradable, thus being less harmful ecologically.

6. X-Men style shoes that enable one to walk on the ceiling

Photo: X-Men Movies Facebook Page/File

This came to light in May 2014. It has been done by way of electromagnetism by Colin Furze, a British scientist.

Walking on the ceiling is no longer unimaginable!

7. Technology from toilets

One Washington-based company, Janicki Industries, designed a power plant that could feed off the waste from a small city to produce 150 megawatts of electricity, enough to power thousands of homes.

The University of the West of England, Bristol, has showcased a urine-powered fuel cell to charge mobile phones overnight.

These were exhibited at a Toilet Fair in New Delhi in March 2014.

8. Automatic Chapati-Maker (Rotimatic)

Photo: Rotimatic Facebook Page

Chapatis are integral to the meals of very many people in our subcontinent. A product of Zimplistic, a Mountain View, California-based company of 20 people, Rotimatic was developed over six years by co-founders Pranoti Nagarkar and Rishi Israni. Nagarkar handled the engineering, and Israni was largely responsible for the software side (there’s no operating system; it runs “bare metal”). Nagarkar said she was inspired to create Rotimatic after growing tired of trying to perfect her own roti-making skills! This came to light in July 2014.

9. Charging mobile phones using water droplets

This has come to light in July 2014. Scientists from MIT have developed a device consisting of metal plates that would condense water vapour and the water droplets, while contacting the metal surfaces, would produce electric charge that can be used to power electronic devices!

If this invention becomes affordable, one wouldn’t have to worry about plug-points and the sort of chargers we have today if one’s phone is, to use the colloquial phrase:

“Dying of battery!”

10. LED-lit indoor farm

Developed by Japanese scientist Shigeharu Shimamura, this could be the solution to the impending global food security crisis. The wavelengths of light emitted are most suitable for plants’ growth, and there are no issues like droughts and weeds for such farms. This came to light in July 2014.

11. The cheetah is not the fastest terrestrial animal

It’s the Southern California mite, Paratarsotomus macropalpis. This came to light in April 2014. The general knowledge books will have to be updated accordingly!

12. Ants better than the Google search engine at processing information

Photo: Reuters/File

A Chinese-German research team put almost everything that is known about the foraging of ants into equations and algorithms and fed this into their computers. When an ant finds some food in the vicinity of the colony, it takes a tiny piece of it to the nest, leaving a trail of a scent-emanating substance called pheromones. This is more efficient than even the Google search, an interesting fact indeed! This came to light in May 2014.

13. A metal-eating plant

While insect-eating plants like sundew and venus flytrap were interesting enough, there are also plants that eat metal. One such plant species discovered in May 2014 is Rinorea niccolifera, discovered in the Philippines. This came to light in May 2014.

Scientists say that such plants can be useful to check soil contamination by ridding the soil of metal pollutants and even to extract metal by growing such plants in metal-rich sites and then obtaining metal from their shoots!

14. Discovery of dancing frogs

Indian scientists have discovered 14 new species of “dancing frogs”. Only the males dance – in a unique breeding behaviour called foot-flagging. They whip their legs out to the side to draw the attention of females who might otherwise not hear their mating croaks over the sound of the fast flowing perennial hill streams – the ‘splash zones’ they inhabit. The bigger the frogs, the more they dance. This came to light in May 2014.

Dance as a mode of attracting the opposite sex cuts across species!

15. Discovery of some new useful bacteria

Photo: Reuters/File

You might be aware that all bacteria are not harmful, like the ones that curdle milk are not. Harun al Rashid, a scientist based in Bangladesh, has discovered a new species of bacteria, which could be of great help for the invention of high quality fertilisers. This came to light in January 2014.

16. New machine that can extract images from your mind

This came to light in May 2014. Researchers claim to have developed a revolutionary machine that can extract images from people’s brains and display them on a screen.

The powerful technology could one day be used to generate images of criminals from the minds of witnesses.

“Our methods yield strikingly accurate neural reconstructions of faces,”said Alan Cowen, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley.

This machine can potentially transform law enforcement procedures.

17. Human blood can be prepared in laboratories

Stem cells can be converted into Red Blood Cells (RBCs) and White Blood Cells (WBCs), and the genetic programme to do so has been decoded by a team of researchers from the University of Wisconsin Madison in the United States, led by Igor Slukvin. This came to light in July 2014.

18. Breakthrough in the fight against AIDS

A major breakthrough has been achieved in the fight against AIDS by a team of researchers in the Temple University in the United States led by Dr Kamel Khalili. They have successfully shown that is possible to destroy an HIV virus in human cells. This came to light in July 2014.

19. Human hair can be used for making jewellery boxes, mirror frames and combs

London-based designers, Alex Groves and Azusa Murakami, have done so! They crafted the collection by placing strands of hair in a silicon mould which is filled with a non-toxic, sustainably harvested resin derived from pine trees.

20. Discovery of a new planet (not in our solar system)

Photo: Reuters/File

If you remember your lessons from school right, a planet is a heavenly body revolving around a star, and the sun is among the countless stars in the universe, which has very many galaxies. Anyhow, the newly discovered planet referred to here revolves around the star Kepler 10-c. What is unique about this planet is that though it is very large, it is made of rock rather than gas (which weren’t earlier thought of as possible for such large planets) and has an atmosphere with thin clouds, suggesting the possibility of life. This planet has been named Mega-Earth and the announcement was made by the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics. This has come to light in June 2014.

Only if we were to think on scientific lines of fellow human beings as all belonging to the same species – homo sapiens, the world would indeed be a much better place to live in!

Indeed, ancient South Asia has many scientific achievements to its credit, which is a heritage for us to draw inspiration from. And yes, women shouldn’t for a moment think that they are necessarily inferior to men when it comes to scientific genius.

The sky is dark and you’re airborne, eyes transfixed on the entertainment system. Suddenly the plane takes a gravitational drop downwards, and then picks itself up a second later. The lights in the airplane go up, and the seatbelt sign appears. The flight attendant, passing through the plane, requests all passengers to remain seated, pull up their seats in an upright position and avoid heading to the lavatory for a few seconds. Most of the passengers follow none of these instructions. Welcome to an international flight carrying Pakistani passengers. Air travel isn’t the most comfortable thing in the flight, especially over long distances, unless of course you’re travelling via Business or First Class. The limited comfort the seats are capable of wears away after a little while and you spend the rest of your flight counting the minutes till you land. After all these factors are combined, the last thing you want is a restless set of passengers. If you’re in a flight with a large proportion of Pakistanis, chances are that you’re in for a flight you’ll never forget. The cabin crew is there to assist you and make you feel comfortable at all times. But you pity them every time they’re in a flight where the Pakistani passports outnumber all other passports. If the flight is heading from or to international locations other than the Middle East then may God be with you. But if the flight is heading from or to the Middle East, then may God, his angels, and the devil be with you! The Middle East seems to have a profound effect on our civic sense. Most of it is already gone by the time we land there, and we make it a point to dump whatever is left in us by the time we head back to Pakistan. Simple instructions seem to be beyond the Pakistani traveller. You realise you’re in a Pakistani flight when upon entering the plane, the first thing you witness is the chaos created by the seat numbers on the boarding pass. Never has there been a Pakistani flight in recorded history where two passengers have not argued over who is the rightful owner of the window seat. Once that argument is settled, the flight is home to a whole new dimension of Pakistani-isms, because now we are airborne we let go of everything, literally. Because this is an international flight, what attracts us most is the availability of alcohol. The Islamic Republic of Pakistan turns into a whole new country in the air. One beer or one glass of whiskey just doesn’t suffice. We are in alcohol heaven, and we make it a point to replace the blood in our veins with various kinds of spirits. After the alcohol binge is over, it is time to hit the washrooms. The cabin crew can beg, the cabin crew can plead, but we make it a point to leave our seats and head to the lavatory no matter how much turbulence the plane goes through. We obtained independence in 1947 and we prove that in airplanes by doing what we want. The line outside the lavatory is huge, it’s almost like they are giving out free candies in there.  Once we have used the lavatory in a manner that makes it unusable for the next person, we head back to our seat, all set for a nap. We try to sleep for a little while, but that doesn’t help. So we turn on the entertainment system, and look for our favourite Bollywood movie, the lack of which bothers us to a great extent. We call a member of the cabin crew over to argue, as he or she looks on with a forced smile, finally managing to muster the sense and energy to apologise to you and promising to notify the management of this catastrophic shortcoming in the plane’s entertainment system. Should this be a flight where you have to pay for meals and drinks on the plane, the Pakistani reaction will be even scarier. Finally, it is time for the announcement you’ve been waiting for all this time: the plane is going to land in a little while. A little moment after the tyres squeal on the runway and the plane starts to slow down, you are asked to remain seated and not turn on your cell phones yet. What do you do if you’re a Pakistani? You throw your blanket on the floor, get up in a moving plane to take out your luggage from the overhead compartment, turn on your cell phone and inform your family that you have landed. As PIA proudly says; Great people to fly with. They, however, speak of their crew, not the majority of their passengers.

This Eid proved to be the deadliest in terms of loss of lives when news started coming in of the recovery of more than two dozen dead bodies that were washed ashore at the Clifton beach, Paradise Point and Hubco beach strips. As of now, 36 bodies have been recovered and the death toll is rising with several still missing. Till further notice, the beach has been closed for public. The horror started on the first day of Eid when an unusually large number of people turned up at the beach and spent entire days and nights enjoying their Eid beating the heat. A large number of such picnickers belonged to other cities, who were in Karachi for work or visiting relatives. Most of the young men who drowned were in their teens. The entire search and rescue operation is being conducted by the divers and helicopters of the Pakistan Navy. The main reason behind these mass deaths is still unknown. Some call it a consequence of the ongoing dredging activity being done to expand the port area while a widely established fact is the disregard shown by the public towards warning signs setup by the Cantonment Board Clifton (CBC) regarding the ban on swimming in the open sea, under Section 144 with red flags installed at prominent locations throughout the Karachi shore line. Families scuffled with the law enforcers while our men in uniform, albeit low in numbers, tried their level best to keep them away from the beaches. A couple of lifeguards who were posted by the CBC pushed their limits in carrying out the search and rescue operation with limited equipment at their disposal but to no avail. This entire episode points towards sheer negligence by beach goers and is a lesson learnt the hard way. This has, in fact, become synonymous with the negligence shown by the general public when, in the event of an imminent danger, our people run towards it rather than from it. Be it a cyclone or an oil spill at the sea, Karachiites make it a point to rush to the danger zone in order to witness the danger ‘first hand’. Besides the ignorance of our masses, the under strength law enforcement agencies and poorly equipped rescue services failed to respond to SOS calls in a timely and efficient manner. The water and safety aspect is getting more and more relevant with each passing day. The estimated figure of 360,000 drowning deaths annually worldwide is an alarming figure and thus, developed countries have been working towards improving their rescuing protocols. Here are some of the standards that are followed worldwide: Measures necessary to minimise frequent drowning cases

• Educating the public
• Denial of access and/or provision of warnings
• Acquisition of rescue and survival skills
• Provision of rescue equipment and its maintenance

• Discoloured water, generally brown due to sand stirred off the bottom
• Foam on the surface extending beyond the beach
• Waves breaking larger and further out on both sides of the rip, often on banks
• Debris floating seawards
• A rippled appearance when the water around is generally calm

• Hitting the Karachi beach, an open sea, may look safe but even in the summer it is extremely cold and will be much harder to swim in than a warm indoor pool. Beware of deep water, slippery banks and strong currents.
• Look out for signs and notices which tell you of the dangers and where it is safe. A red flag or a skull and bones sign means that there is danger ahead and that portion of the beach should be avoided at all costs.
• Go in a group rather than going alone. Children should always be accompanied by adults and water sports enthusiasts should ensure someone else is near.
• By learning rescue and survival skills, you may be able to help someone else and yourself if there is an accident. Instead of jumping into the water to save someone, immediately call for help rather than putting your life in danger.
• Stick your hand up and shout for help if you feel you can’t swim back to the shore.

It’s a small village in Punjab. Two men begin fighting over a few thousand rupees and what seems to be an electricity wire. One of the men has a 10-year-old son who does the unthinkable – he goes to take a bath in the enemy’s tube well. The landlord/owner cannot stand this injustice. He beats the boy and pours hot water on him. The little boy runs and hides in the fields but the landlord seeks him out again. This time, he ties him up with a rope and cuts his arms off with a thresher. Did I just narrate to you the latest plotline of an upcoming novel? Did I just recall an impossible event taking place in the world where we talk about children being precious and protecting them at all costs? Did I just hear you scoff in disbelief, assuming something like this could never be real or take place? Well, I hate to break it to you but this story is as real as it gets. This is a village called Chak Bhawala in Gujrat, Pakistan. The abovementioned men are named Ghulam Mustafa and Nasir Iqbal. And the little boy, who now has no arms because he is surrounded by maniacs, is called Tabassum. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x223pcc_dunya-news-i-did-not-do-it-intentionally-and-it-was-mistake_news[/embed] The Punjab Chief Minister, Shahbaz Sharif, has taken notice of the incident and has dismissed the area SHO, ASP, DSP and the medical superintendent of the hospital for failure to take notice. While his attention and action is commendable, one must ask him if he is aware of the countless other inhumane injustices being conducted against children throughout the province. One must also ask him if he has any idea what child welfare societies are supposed to be doing in this case. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x223a85_dunya-news-gujrat-incident-cm-punjab-slams-police-officials-on-negligence-in-action_news[/embed] Most importantly, one must also speculate if Mr Shahbaz has the answer to the inevitable question – what is going to happen to Tabassum and his future? He was the target of a mad man’s rage, at the receiving end of a stupid feud and now he has to spend the rest of his life as a handicapped individual. Will he be able to attend school, get a job, earn a livelihood or partake in any physical activity? What will happen to this little boy whose only fault was that he was a child trying to beat the summer heat and got caught in a mess that had nothing to do with him. Crimes against children are a serious issue and the government of Pakistan must take it as one before perpetrators keep getting off on technicalities such as in the case of Tabassum. There are over 15 NGOs in Pakistan that are working towards protecting the rights of children but none of them seem to have the outreach or resources to stop these crimes from happening. In a small village in Punjab, the only possible outreach that can make protection of children possible is the law itself. So far, the headways made in doing so are few and minimal. Children are defenceless and vulnerable targets, and therefore require protection all the time. Their futures are still far ahead of them. Civilised societies make it a point to establish a clear and thoroughly defined justice system when it comes to protecting its weakest and most susceptible part. Such heinous crimes deserve life imprisonment at the very least. Yet, I have a heart sinking feeling that this immoral delinquent will soon be enjoying freedom, despite his criminal and despicable offense.

When Dwight Howard tweeted #SavePalestine, he drew, in equal amounts, plaudits and condemnation from social media. He soon deleted his tweet, called it accidental and issued a retraction. Soon enough, #Howardthecoward started trending on Twitter. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

A prominent sportsperson had aired his views on a sensitive political subject, and by issuing a retraction, had later on failed to stand by it.

Dwight Howard (R)

Back in 2003, Andy Flower and Henry Olonga had worn black armbands during a World Cup, mourning the death of democracy in their native Zimbabwe. Not only were they not criticised, they were lauded for showing courage against tyranny and putting their careers on the line. Two superstars from Zimbabwe had protested in a very visible manner and stood up for something they believed in, prompting discussions on an extremely sensitive issue, even if they couldn’t bring about much change in their country’s fortunes.

Andy Flower (R) and Henry Olonga (L)

When the London Olympics decided not to commemorate the 40^th anniversary of the Munich massacre of Israeli athletes Aly Raisman of the United States paid tribute in her own way. Her gymnastics floor routine had a Jewish folk song playing in the background, and her statement saying that she would have “supported and respected” a moment’s silence for slain athletes was considered by many as a slap in the face of the organisers.

Raisman was lauded for her audacity and nerve.

Aly Raisman (R)

Cristiano Ronaldo, perhaps the most recognisable soccer star of this decade, reportedly donated €1.5 million to ‘children in Gaza’. Though that cannot be viewed as a form of political support for Palestine or protest against Israel, his subsequent refusal to trade jerseys with Israeli soccer stars after a World Cup qualifier in 2013 can certainly be termed as an act of protest.

Cristiano Ronaldo with his ‘Golden Shoe’ award (L)

No official reaction was recorded on the part of FIFA, or the Portuguese Football Federation, although the YouTube video of the jersey-swap snub was inundated with comments.

Azizulhasni Awang, a Malaysian Cyclist at the Commonwealth Games in Scotland, recently wore gloves that read ‘Save Gaza’. Awang was adamant that his act was a ‘humanitarian’ statement, instead of a political protest. Awang was severely reprimanded, and a stern warning was issued that another similar transgression will result in him being suspended.

Azizulhasni Awang

The sporting boycott of South Africa, during the reprehensible Apartheid years, was nothing but a political statement against the country’s racist laws. Nations from across the globe, regardless of racial affiliation, refused to play in, or against teams from, South Africa. Yet no one criticised that.

Posters depicting sporting boycott of South Africa during the Apartheid era.

Moeen Ali sported wristbands with the words ‘Save Gaza’ during the third Test of the ongoing England-India Test series. A day after this, the ICC informed Ali that the wristbands needed to go. He might even be fined 50% of his match fee, as a reprimand – though that seems improbable.

Moeen Ali (R)

The Flower-Olonga protest, the Dwight Howard tweet and his consequent retraction, Awang’s gloves, Raisman’s routine music and consequent statement, Ronaldo’s aversion to the exchange of jerseys, the Apartheid boycott of South Africa and Moeen Ali’s wristbands are all examples of athletes being political.

Why then do we condemn some and endorse others?

Perhaps it is in human nature to laud such politically motivated sporting protests if we agree with the stand taken, and condemn them if they don’t align with our own sensibilities.

Perhaps these double standards have got something to do with the political affiliations of the nations involved. The United Kingdom, in its foreign policy, and ECB as a sporting body, openly denounce Robert Mugabe’s cruel regime. UK’s stance on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a little more diplomatic.

As international athletes, celebrities and, most importantly, role models to millions of kids, shouldn’t we encourage them to take these political stands? Should we not teach our younger generations that standing up for what you believe in is the right thing to do? Should we not embolden their sense of freedom of speech and expression? Isn’t reprimanding one sportsperson against a ‘Save Gaza’ wristband and appreciating others for ‘mourning the death of democracy’ sending mixed signals?

Regardless of what our political inclinations may be, let us allow athletes be political (or apolitical if they want to) and set examples that they can be proud of. Let sport be the medium where differences of opinion are not only tolerated, but also encouraged. Athletes endorse politicians and political parties throughout the world; why not let them support a political cause as well. After all, a silent role model is not too much of a role model anyways.

Sport has celebrated its inclusiveness of participants, regardless of race, religion and nationality, as a result of accepting the existence of a problem, and openly discussing it. It is now high time that we afford the same courtesy to opinions, and agree to disagree.

Part of the Flower-Olonga statement in 2003 read:

“Although we are just professional cricketers, we do have a conscience and feelings. We believe that if we remain silent, that will be taken as a sign that either we do not care or we condone what is happening… We believe that it is important to stand up for what is right.”

Let us allow Moeen Ali to show that he cares – even if we don’t agree with him.

Based around an American prisoner of war’s conversion to Islam and his suspected descent into the terrorist fold, five time Golden Globe-winning series, ‘Homeland’ is widely acclaimed by critics for its top-notch political commentary and a devoted performance by the show’s CIA heroine, Claire Daines. It’s not as uncontroversial among the American Muslim community, however; gaining a mixed response primarily because it has been accused of legitimising Islamophobia by portraying many of its antagonists as radical Muslim terrorists. What’s also feared is that Homeland will incorrectly portray Pakistan, the setting of its upcoming fourth season. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x21qs3x_homeland-season-4-first-look-trailer_shortfilms[/embed] Yet I personally think it’s unfair to simplify Homeland as an anti-Muslim rant and dismiss it as yet another production dedicated to proving to the world that Islam causes half of the world to be inherently violent. In fact, Homeland’s complex narrative goes beyond Islamic terrorism, and does not spare American security apparatus and the political atmosphere of the United States in its three award-winning seasons. What Homeland does portray differently is its depiction of ‘turned’ Muslims, or everyday Muslims who transformed into terrorists. Rather than blame religious literature or readings of the Quran, it accuses more secular causes like drone strikes, foreign invasions and occupations for turning normal individuals into terrorists. This is something that sets Homeland apart from other productions that focus on the Muslim ‘problem’, as it is addressed by Hollywood. Oscar-winning Zero Dark Thirty, also coincidentally placed in Pakistan, and based around the Abbottabad operation of 2011, is much more misleading than what Homeland has been accused of being for three years. All Muslims in Zero Dark Thirty are terrorists or spies; Islamabad is completely stereotyped into a very Middle Eastern location; notwithstanding Pakistan is in the Indian sub-continent and shares no borders with the Arab world. Camels, bazaars, minarets and veils are what categorise what is a very modern part of Pakistan and one of the world’s most planned capitals, and there is no Pakistani throughout the film’s running-time that is either a victim or simply a Pakistani. Even the terrorists are consistently shown to be devout Arabic-speaking Muslims acting in accordance with Islamic commandments solely for the purpose of destroying the United States and its allies. When the film ends, a postscript highlights the losses suffered since the war on terror began. It would have been acceptable if this causality list wasn’t exclusively reserved for American soldiers and civilians. It ignored the thousands of non-Western civilians who have lost their lives in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq and multiple countries plagued by terrorist outfits and did not act as a justification of procedures that were followed by the CIA to catch Osama Bin Laden, one of the procedures that escalated attacks on polio workers as a consequence. [embed width="620"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xwksak_zero-dark-thirty-trailer_shortfilms[/embed] In contrast, Homeland doesn’t categorise Muslims into terrorists and shows great diversity in representing Muslims, not as monolithic and merely the same being with different faces, but as proper individuals with divergent aspirations. One of Claire Danes’s character’s co-workers is the son of a Lebanese woman and Mexican Muslim convert. Another Muslim CIA analyst is shunned for wearing a headscarf, again, a very rare acceptance of Islamophobia present in the United States that penetrates every section of society. Stupid mistakes made by the CIA and other American security agencies are often very racist, like simply quarantining some suspects for being of Arab-origin or travelling to Lahore, where in fact the real culprits are white. The CIA is also shown not to keep its promises of protecting individuals who exchange their own lives for preventing attacks on innocent people, no matter how significant their contributions is in the war on terror. Where Zero Dark Thirty’s CIA is very heroic and only keen on preventing villainous Muslims from invading America, Homeland’s CIA is repeatedly slammed for its ineffective policies and ulterior motives. In light of all this, claiming Homeland is Islamophobic is really, immensely inaccurate. Sometimes people only see the fact that the antagonist, Abu Nazir, is a Muslim, therefore this show is Islamophobic, without recognising that in fact Muslim terrorists do exist and there are radical outfits operating in the name of Islam across the world. It is, on the contrary, a show where a CIA case officer accuses the head of an al Qaeda offshoot of ‘corrupting the Prophet’s word’ and exposing his lies and self-contradictions, and where a Venezuelan imam refuses to give a convert sanctuary by claiming,

‘You are not a Muslim, you are a terrorist.’

In the centre of a wave of silence, where I sit inside a shed, You are the tools that I have used to build this home. When people debate about You, You sneak into the smile that travels across my face. You are in the noise that is aroused but more so in the silence that follows. Because what is every word but a pointless effort to imitate the sweet pleasure which roams casually inside silence? Your name is constantly provoked in different forms, in different accents, and You are denied in different languages, in different ways. Lives are spent in defending You, in attacking You, but where are You? Are You lurking in the varying pitch of their voices? Or are You in the spaces between the words that attempt to describe and deny You? Everyone claims to know You, to understand You. Yet, You refuse to display Yourself. Do You slip away into the dark corners of curiosity in the eyes of the child, who looks at two arguing poles stuck in a ground, mistaken for cement? Why do You love to hide? Why play these games? Why place such heart-wrenching beauty in man and in nature? When the leaves converse with the gusts of wind, and the trees shake with zeal, what is it that they talk about? When a child laughs, is it You that attaches our heart with the pitch of his laughter? When a man cries, are You in the dried up streams that are left on his face? When a lover awaits his beloved, do You request time to alter its movement? When seas of blood are spilled, how do You digest all of it? Centuries have passed, and it has been asked, what do You want from man? To uproot his existence and forever plant it in different fields? To grasp the infinite streams of light with his fingers? To keep a lid on the abyss of darkness that he has been handed by the society? Why this love for such bizarre riddles? Why these choices? When the ego is shattered, are You in the blood that drips from collecting those shards? When poets pen a thought, are You somewhere in the eruption of pleasure that arises inside us? When thoughts travel to reach You, do You smile at the distance they have to cover to come back to the starting point? When painters paint, are You taking cover in the palette? When a voice sings, and the heart floats with the varying notes, do You uphold the elevation? When people are hanged for loving You and hating You, what do You feel then? When a man takes a stroll inside his self, are You the one that trips him, so he can travel onwards with a shattered ego? When a spider constructs its web, are You in the fragility of the architecture? When a snake is able to shed off its skin, and a man isn’t, what do You think then? When tears well up inside the heart, is it You who has shut off all the taps of illusion and speculations? When a man showers in the warm certainty of his thoughts, are You somewhere in the cold uncertainty that surrounds him? When people fear death, are You disappointed in how little they understand life?

Individuals with mental health disorders are often the victims of violence and there is wide-spread discrimination directed towards them, whether by intent, ignorance or insensitivity. They are often the victim of jokes or are ridiculed for their behaviour. This attitude can make life difficult for them and present major obstacles to recovery. It is hard for them to find stable employment, living arrangements and relationships because of diminished self-esteem and weak social support. I came across two instances recently of major discrimination against people with mental health disabilities in Pakistan. In the first instance, a TV host, on a recent Ramazan transmission program, presented the stereotype of a mentally ill patient and then beat him physically. He asked someone from the audience to act like an insane person and encouraged him to rip apart his shirt to make the act look more realistic. He then had the guy throw himself on the floor, at which point the host began punching and kicking him and chocked his neck with both hands. With an obnoxious smile on his face, he started yelling,

“Mentally ill are beaten physically.”

“I recite the Holy Quran, then blow on water and give this water for drinking three times a day.”